7-Eleven Proclaims Hot Dog Bill of Rights

In the United States, the c-store chain sells a Big Bite hot dog every 2.7 seconds of the day.

February 23, 2016

IRVING, Texas – 7-Eleven is calling on Americans to top their hot dogs just how they want. As a provider of hot dogs and the “freedom of choice” since the 1970s, yesterday, the convenience store chain issued a “proclamation”:

WHEREAS, we’re not about to let any King threaten that juicy, American liberty by limiting the people to just two pre-determined menu options; and

WHEREAS, 7-Eleven has provided Americans the highest standard and best taste in hot doggery for more than 40 years, resulting in annual sales of over 80 million at over 7,900 stores; and

WHEREAS, this monarch has the audacity to tell Americans how much chili and other toppings we can put on our hot dogs—and during an election year, no less;

NOW, THEREFORE, we, 7-Eleven, do hereby proclaim the following “Hot Dog Bill of Rights,” to wit:

i. The right to buy a tasty, 100% beef hot dog 24/7, 365 days a year.

ii. The right to customize your hot dog with a variety of toppings, including FREE chili and cheese.

iii. The right to a ¼ Pound Big Bite and Big Gulp combo for just $2.00, any time of day.

iv. The right to believe in totally made up, but totally tasty constitutional rights.

“7-Eleven is clearly America’s choice for hot dogs,” said Dennis Phelps, vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “Our customers get more bang for their buck, more topping options and tasty 100% beef—small wonder we sell a Big Bite hot dog every 2.7 seconds of the day! While we relish the competition, we are confident that this monarchical outlier has a long way to go to ketch-up with 7-Eleven’s All-American hot dog.”

In an online consumer survey that compared more than 10 retailers offering hot dogs, 7-Eleven was rated the highest as “favorite place to buy hot dogs.” The survey also found that consumers credit 7-Eleven's hot dogs for being tasty, flavorful and a great value. In addition, consumers love the condiment selection, including free chili and cheese, and the ability to add as much or as little as they like to customize their hot dog.

Added Phelps: “We’re 7-Eleven … and we approve of this message.”

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement